Distorted Avatar Reality 14: The Fortuneteller
by donki-shouben
Summary: Avatar Alernate Universe based on Ogro's Distorted Reality. Aang, Azula and Zuko meet the Fortuneteller! Includes Azula crushing on Aang!


**Author's Note: This is based on Ogro's Avatar AU, "Distorted Reality", wherein Aang finds himself in a dimension ruled by the Water Empire, and he must rely upon two surprising allies to save the world - Zuko and Azula! I'll say one thing for that series - Azula and Zuko make far more interesting companions for Aang than Katara and Sokka. Sacrilege, maybe, but it's true!**

**Bonus contest: See if you can spot the thing that's out of place. What doesn't belong?**

Chapter 14: The Fortuneteller

By Shawn Evans

Avatar: The Last Airbender and related characters copyright Nickelodeon

Aang was alone.

Judging by the position of the sun in the sky, it was late morning.

_I guess Azula and Zuko went to get supplies. I hope nothing happened to them. _Aang thought.

He had slept late. He recalled having another one of those dreams of his friends back home. He desperately wished they were okay.

As for his present companions, lately Azula had been acting strange around him. The Avatar noticed her staring at him quite a few times recently, but she would always look away when he sensed her eyes on him. He wondered if Azula suspected the truth; that where Aang came from she was evil, and he hated her.

Suddenly, a sound from the brush!

Aang's muscles tensed, and he got in his air bending stance, afraid it was a patrol of Water Empire soldiers. Though the islands they passed through lately had been quiet, wanted posters with Aang's likeness were posted in many places, so it paid to be cautious!

But it was merely the two Fire Nationals Aang traveled with.

Zuko and Azula!

"Where'd you guys go??" Aang asked.

"ZuZu cried he needed a new purse, so I went with him to town to get one." Azula snarkily replied.

"Hey! That's not true! Azula!" Zuko bitched.

"Fine. It's not a purse. It's a 'manbag'." Azula grinned. "Actually, we wanted to check the town out, and you were sleeping so peacefully we didn't want to wake you!"

Azula's smile, so full of unbridled joy, lingered on the young Avatar and begged for some response, even though it made him real uncomfortable.

"So, uh, how was town?" Aang at last found his voice, and tried to make conversation.

"Kind of cool!" Zuko answered. "There's a festival going on now, so there's all sorts of special events!"

"Really?? What kind of events?" the intrigued Aang inquired.

"Oh, let's see, there's a carnival, and a water show..." Zuko listed the attractions.

"And get this!" Azula interrupted. "They're having a beauty contest!"

"You don't say..." Aang's mind drifted back to Katara, the blue-eyed Water Tribe beauty he left behind on his world. The vision of her posing for him, way back when, occupied his thoughts, and he briefly imagined a group of girls competing for beauty queen, all of whom looked like Katara!

But that dreamlike vision would soon be supplanted by a real life display!

"We saw the girls in the contest practicing, and it was hilarious!" Azula chortled. "They were all like...hold on..."

Then the young girl stripped down to her undies!

"Er, uhhh..." Aang stammered. _Why is she undressing?? _he thought.

"Look at me! I'm a beauty queen!" Azula laughed, striking several odd 'model' poses and walks while clad in next to nothing.

Aang was speechless. This was the last thing he ever expected to see!

" 'Zula!" Zuko chastised his sister. "You're embarrassing the Avatar!"

"No I'm not!" Azula bristled at the accusation and, in an effort to defend herself, sidled up next to the devout Air Monk while still bereft of her robes. "Am I, Aang?" she said, batting her eyes. "You don't mind, do you?"

_Oh my Spirits! _Aang freaked. _Is she coming on to me??_

_Right about now, _Aang thought, _would be a good time for a platypusbear attack! _

His stomach retched in response to the situation, although he, quite diplomatically, denied it.

"Urggghh!" Aang threw up on the forest floor. "It's not you, Azula! I, uh, had melonapples this morning! I think they were wormy!"

"I don't feel that well, either." Zuko added, rubbing his stomach.

"Did you eat melonapples, too?" Azula asked.

"No!" Zuko smirked. "Seeing you dressed like that makes me sick!"

While the enraged, bra and panty-wearing firebender chased her brother around the forest, lobbing several fireballs in his direction, Aang noticed a man praying in a roadside temple.

Without warning, one of Azula's errant balls of fire landed on the temple, igniting the wooden structure!

But the man didn't move!

"Run!" yelled Aang. "The temple's on fire!!"

The fire consumed the temple, surrounding the man on three sides, and still he stayed, kneeling!

Aang blasted air at the weakened temple, blowing it to bits, and away from the praying man.

After stamping out the small fires that remained, Aang screamed "Are you crazy?? You could have been killed!"

"But I wasn't." the man calmly replied. "Madam Mu said if I made an offering to the Spirits, though I faced hell itself, I would emerge unscathed. And she was right!"

"What's all this, then?" Azula emerged from the forest, her robes back on, followed by Zuko.

"This man didn't run from a fire because some fortuneteller told him the flames wouldn't hurt him! Isn't that crazy?!" Aang commented.

"And even though I was surrounded by fire, I wasn't injured! This is my lucky day! Woo hoo!" the man cheered. "I should go to the racetrack!"

"There's a fortuneteller in town?" said a curious Azula.

"And a racetrack??" said an even more curious Zuko.

"Oh, no!" Aang hit his forehead with his palm. This was going to be a long day.

Journeying to the nearby Water Empire town, Aang and Co. soon found Madam Mu, the fortuneteller.

"Azula, you don't have to do this!" Aang pleaded.

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!" Azula chirped.

Walking into the fortuneteller's abode, Aang and Zuko respectfully doffed their shoes. But not the 'entitled' Azula!

"So...Madam Mu..." the eager to know the future Azula began, "...will I marry someone rich and powerful?" she asked, holding out her palm for the fortuneteller to read.

The irked Madam Mu looked at the disrespectful Azula, then glanced at her palm. "No." she blankly said.

"Will he at least be rich??" Azula hungrily inquired.

"No!" Madam Mu answered quickly. "Who's next?"

"How about just powerful, then?" she asked, looking at Aang as she said it.

"Enough, you horrible little girl! I already gave you your fortune!" Madam Mu angrily snapped. "You!" she ordered, pointing at Aang. "Come with me!"

In a back room that contained a small pot of water, Madam Mu motioned to an urn containing bones. "Go ahead. Pick one. The bones never lie. The water seeps into the cracks in the bones and I read the bone cracks to tell your destiny." she explained.

But Aang, remembering his encounter with the fortuneteller on his world, and how he had left it while on the run from the forces of evil, didn't really care to have his Avatar fortune read. So when he threw the bone into the pot, he 'accidentally' knocked the other bones into the cauldron, spilling it! "Oops!" he gasped.

"Oh no! It's ruined! I won't be able to read your fortune from these!" Madam Mu moaned.

"That's okay, Madam Mu." Aang humbly said. "I'd much rather you told me about my love life, anyway!" he smiled.

"Oh??" Mu was surprised. She could tell Aang was a powerful being, though not exactly who, which was why she wanted to do the bone divination. But if all he wanted was a palm reading?

"Let me see your hand." she asked. Aang complied, and she studied it. "Hmmm."

"What is it??" a nervous Aang trembled in anticipation.

"You will have a great love..." Madam Mu began, tracing the line on Aang's palm. "...and it will...Oh my."

"What?? Tell me!" Aang cried.

"It will lead to your destruction!" Madam Mu sinisterly announced. "I can say no more!"

"But...I..." Aang's mind was awash in confusion. He loved Katara! How could that lead to his destruction??

Wandering back into the front room of the fortunetelling parlor, Azula quickly picked up on Aang's disappointment.

"She told you a load of crap, too, huh?" Azula commiserated. "Let's go, Aang! It's obvious she's a quack!"

Aang was grateful for Azula's sensitivity. She really was a good person, and nothing like the Azula on his world!

However, as he and the Fire Nation teen girl exited the parlor, a thought occurred to him: _Maybe the fortuneteller didn't mean Katara? Maybe...someone else will be my great love? Could that be it? _he pondered, as the smiling (bubbly, even!) Azula escorted him to the carnival for a round of fun and games.

As for Zuko?

"I suppose you want your fortune, too?" Madam Mu sighed.

"In a way." Zuko eyes lit up. He had an idea. "Let's talk eelhound racing."

Madam Mu was taken aback.

But only momentarily.

"Yes." she wickedly smiled. "Let's."

Returning to their campsite some time later, Zuko saw Aang and Azula.

And they were surrounded by stuffed animals and dolls!

"So..." Zuko grinned, "...You did well at the carnival, eh, Aang?"

"Not me." Aang said, more than a little embarrassed. "Azula won all of them!"

"Don't you just love them, Aang?" Azula said, golden eyes sparkling. "I won them for you!"

"Uh. yeah. They're...really great." Aang said, smiling weakly, as he accepted a stuffed pandaroo from the ultra-competitive, smitten Fire Nation girl. "Thanks, Azula."

Zuko found it hard to stifle his laughter. He'd never seen his sister with a crush on anyone before! Best not to say anything, though, or else she'd take his head off!

"What about you, Zuko?" Aang said, quickly changing the subject. "What did you do?"

"Oh, I've...been around." Zuko smiled, and flashed a wad of cash. "It's all good!"

"Where did you get all that money?!" Aang blurted.

"Mind your own business!" Zuko snapped. "Let's just say this town is very, very welcoming to the Zukester!"

"I have a bad feeling about this!" Aang groaned.

"Oh, give it a rest, Aang!" Azula dismissed the Avatar's talk of gloom and doom. "So Zuko has his little secrets? So what? Enjoy the moment! You've been in town, so you know there aren't any wanted posters of you there, which makes it the perfect place to hang out for a few days! What could it hurt?" she added, her pearly whites glistening in the sunlight.

"I guess you're right, A-ohhhhhh, wwwhat nnnnow??" Aang stammered, as the earth shook!

The tremor soon subsided, and the GAAng trooped into town to see if anyone needed help.

But except for some cookware, which smashed into itty bitty pieces when they fell out of kitchen cabinets, there wasn't any damage.

Aang examined some of the local infrastructure to see if the tremor stressed them, such as the dam, but a town elder explained that the quake was centered in the ocean and, as they were inland, there was nothing to worry about. "The festival is back on!" he announced.

Aang still felt unease, but Zuko had other ideas. "You heard him! It's on! Later, kiddies!" he said as he walked off to do his secret 'Zuko business'!

"But, Zuko!"Aang wailed.

However, he was stopped by Azula. "Let him go, Aang! Besides, he's got the right idea! Let's have some fun!"

"Okay, 'Zula." the Avatar grudgingly agreed. "But no more stuffed animals!"

Later on, the three walked backed to their camp together, and Azula mentioned "The water show was very good!" Then quickly added "For terribly oppressive Water Empire tools, that is, of course!"

Zuko couldn't believe it! Azula actually had something nice to say about the Water Empire?? She had changed!

"How about you, Zuko? You gonna let us in on your little secret?" Aang asked, spying Zuko's overflowing bag of coins.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you!" Zuko cracked, as he flipped a coin into the air and caught it as it came down. "Remember that fortuneteller? She..."

Zuko's warm remembrance ended as soon as the trio heard the cries for help!

A gang of young toughs were threatening an old man. Zuko and Azula both could tell, by the way they were dressed, the hooligans were Fire Nation kids.

"Leave him alone!" an angry Aang demanded, brandishing his staff. "What did he ever do to you??"

"He's Water Empire! That's reason enough!" the leader of the gang cried. "They've been terrorizing our people for years!

"I know how you feel." Zuko said, revealing his own Fire Nation birthmark on the side of his body to the refugee group. "But this is no way to go about it! Here..." he said, doling out some of his cash and coins. "Use this to find a safe place to live, far away from the Water Empire!"

"Wow! Thanks, mister!" the youngest member of the 'freedom fighters' exclaimed. "Isn't this great, Jet? We can find a home of our own now!"

"Yeah. Great." Jet cooly replied as he stared at the Fire Nation teen known as Zuko.

Finally, the youngsters walked off with their ill-deserved riches, although Jet couldn't help one last look at the man responsible for altering his mission.

"What was that all about??" Azula asked, mystified at the aberrant teen's behavior.

"I think we'll be seeing them again!" Aang sighed, recalling the freedom fighting Jet on his world.

"Thank you, children!" the old man stated, as Aang and Zuko helped him to his feet. "I don't know what I would have done without your quick thinking!"

"Or all that money!" Aang snapped. "Where did you get it, Zuko?!" he demanded.

"If you must know..." a petulant Zuko responded. "I got eelhound racing tips from the fortuneteller!"

"A fortuneteller??" the old man howled. "Those are bad news! I remember one time, years ago, in a town about a weeks' travel from here, a fortuneteller told people she could make them rich! And when peoples' money doubled, everyone ran to her to invest their life's savings, the money in their piggy banks, cash they had hidden in bedding, everything!"

"So what happened??" Azula anxiously inquired.

"What happened?? They lost it all!" the elderly man declared. "It was a pyramid scheme! She took the new peoples' money to pay off the old investors, and then when she sucked everyone in, she ran off with the whole town's money! What was her name? Wu something, I think?"

"Mu?" Zuko frantically asked, dreading the answer he was sure to receive!

"Yeah! That's it! Mu!" the oldster confidently stated.

"Oh, no!" Zuko moaned.

"Zuko, what did you do?" Aang bellowed. "You didn't tell anyone about your 'racing tips', did you??"

"I may have...bragged to a few people about it! But I didn't think it would hurt anything!" Zuko said, seeking forgiveness.

"Zuko, you moron!" the worldly wise Azula blasted him. "You're the patsy! Madam Mu used you to make everyone think she could predict racing winners, when she was probably in cahoots with the race officials! Now, when everyone seeks her 'winning tips', they'll bet everything they have on a sure loser, and she and her conspirators will clean up with a small bet on the real winner!"

"I said I was sorry, Azula! You don't have to rub it in!" Zuko pouted.

"You're such a dum-dum!" Azula could scarcely believe they were related!

"Look, there's a simple solution." Aang calmly said. "We'll talk to the town officials about it. I'm sure they'll stop the race and give everyone's money back!" added the Avatar, who had faith in people's basic goodness.

However...Nothing is ever that simple!

"Oohhhhhh, nnnnot againnnn??" Aang stammered once more, as the earth shook for a second time!

And this time the tremor was far more powerful!

Hurrying into town, Zuko sped to the race arena while Aang and Azula used their bending prowess to save people from collapsed buildings.

Luckily, there were only a few, and damage to the town was relatively light.

So light, Zuko reported, that the town's mayor wouldn't call off the race! He considered Zuko's accusations unfounded, and threatened to put HIM in jail as a co-conspirator with Madam Mu if there was any hanky-panky going on! The race was very important to the town's economy, and he wouldn't dream of canceling it, either because of tremor or fraud!

Before Aang could react to that distressing tidbit of news, he remembered the dam!

Rushing to the site of the local river barrier, Aang was relieved to see it still held!

Then he looked into the distance.

A wall of water was traveling down the river at terrific speed!

Apparently, the seaquake had spawned a tsunami, and the storm surge was only now reaching the inland area!

Fearing the dam would be overtopped by the millions of tons of water racing toward it, and fail, sending a cascade of water into town, obliterating it, Aang sent Zuko back into town to tell the residents they had to evacuate immediately to higher ground, while he and Azula would try to prevent the dam from failing!

As Zuko ran off to warn the people, Azula had a good question: "How are supposed to stop all that water??"

As neither were water benders, it was a valid point!

"We're not going to stop the surge, Azula!" Aang informed her. "We're going to redirect it!"

Quickly, Aang bent air into the ground, creating furrows in the soil that Azula then followed, burning holes deep into the earth that became depressions the water would fill and run down, hopefully, all the way back to the sea a couple of miles away!

It was tough, hard work, but they managed to create the final culvert that linked with the sea just before the roaring water filled it and crashed into the ocean!

Sweaty and just about all wore out, they returned triumphantly to town, thinking they'd get a hero's welcome!

But the town wasn't there anymore!

All that remained was a washed-out pile of timber, cracked like toothpicks, and muddy puddles!

"Oh no! We were too late!" Aang cried, the grief turning immediately to tears. "All those people!!"

Suddenly, from above and behind them...

"Guys! Guys! You're okay!!" a jubilant Zuko shouted.

"Wha? Zuko? But how??" Aang yelled, his tears now ones of joy!

"I told the people about the dam, but they wouldn't believe me!" Zuko exclaimed, as Aang and Azula stared at him uncomprehendingly. "But then the guy we saved stood up and told them to listen! They trusted him, so they all fled the town before the water hit!" he added, as the townspeople walked out of their safe area above town, led by the old man from the forest.

"But I don't get it!" the dumbfounded Aang yelped. "We diverted the water from the dam, so how...?"

"You diverted the water from ONE of our dams!" the town elder stated. "There was another one on the other side of town!" he informed the trio. "But it was still good. Your work gave us the escape route we needed!"

"Oh! That's okay, then! Whew!" a relieved Aang gasped.

After the elderly gentleman assured them Madam Mu and her criminal compatriots would be dealt with justly, the GAang said their goodbyes and left.

As they journeyed back to Appa, and eventually on to the next town, Aang had a comment.

"I hope you learned your lesson, Zuko!" the Avatar stated, smiling at Azula.

"I sure did!" Zuko concurred. "No more eelhound racing for me! That stuff's all fixed!"

However...

"But I was talking to a guy, and he told me there's these things called 'cards'. Some towns have them, and there are ways to beat them legally!" the Fire Nation boy gleefully revealed.

"Zuko..." Aang gently chastised his friend.

"What??" he said, acting shocked. "It's based on mathematics, so I can guarantee..."

"ZUKO!!" both Aang and Azula yelled at him.

"Fine!" Zuko pouted. "I never get to have any fun! You guys with your bending, and all I got is a manbag, and..."

"Zuko." Azula whispered in his ear, as quietly and sinisterly as possible, with just a hint of buried menace. She wasn't about to put up with her brother's hissy fits any longer! "Stop it. Right. Now." she added, as she reached into his bag and 'liberated' most of his remaining ill-gotten funds!

"Hmph!" Zuko disgustedly uttered, clutching his nearly depleted 'manbag' tightly to his chest in a fit of pique.


End file.
